Shits really hit the fan now...

Celebrity chef and swearword extraordinaire Gordan Ramsay has agreed terms with the UK government regarding leading the negotiating team for Great Britain in talks with the EU relating to terms for leaving Europe.

With the European Union playing hardball it was decided that enough was enough and a 'fuck this' attitude had to be adopted. It when unanimously agreed that Ramsay was the nasty piece of work that was required.

With Theresa May busy knick knocking peoples doors on the campaign trail, as well as being slightly afraid, it was left to Borris Johnson to approach Ramsay requesting his assistance. Never one to turn up a free lunch Johnson met Ramsey at one of his London eateries. During Borris's 5 lunches and Ramsay's 5,000 swearwords the pair agreed a package to suit both parties, with Ramsay set to serve his nation as he does his customers, by his "fucking rules".

Upon meeting the press to announce his new role Ramsay had the following to say
"Challenge accepted, I'm fucking delighted. The EU can shove their divorce bill up their continental behinds. €100 billion, where did they pluck that from, can we not just give them Wales and £50 billion."

The first meeting between EU Officials and Ramsay is set for next week.

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