Exclusive Bahamas musical event turns into farce

Lilly Allen, popstar and activist, has visited survivors of the Fyre Festival in the Bahamas, seeing first hand the devastation caused as the event went from bad to worse for all the wealthy ticket-holders who forked  out (or whos Daddy's forked out) anything up to $12,000 to attend. 

The much hyped event event turned soured as the weekend began with headline act Blink-182 pulling out, citing worries about infrastructure and organisation. Chaotic scenes followed with flight delays, overloaded bus's and incomplete accommodation and facilities to name just a few, not to mention dodgy cheese "luxury" sandwiches, violent locals and feral dogs.

Allan insisted it was "her duty" to help after seeing photos on Instagram of dozens of rich kids and wealthy millennials with slightly unhappy faces and muddied Louis Vuitton wellies. Holding back tears she wept "It's not fair, I think it's really mean, I think it's really mean. The British government could be...and should be doing more for these people. Not only have they missed out on two weekends of privileged entertainment but many of them also had to be flown back from the island in economy class. Many of them had to wait, Ryanair-esque, and queue for hours upon hours."

After visiting the squalid conditions the festival goer's had to endure Allan used the opportunity to pitch her upcoming album, offering a free additional download of her new single written for the victims of Fyre Festival. 

Allen then offered to visit a local school and kindly offered a live performance of her new single, which resulted in the locals asking her cameramen and entourage who she was, before gracefully refusing her request and going back to work. Allen then took some selfies before being asked to leave. She returned home on one of the suffering festival victims private jets and has announced plans for a tell-all book about her experience. 

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