FIFA President announces Barton as Ethics Committee Chief

FIFA president Gianni Infantino has issued a press release to name Joey Barton as the organisations new Ethics Committee chief, a move which has shocked nobody who knows anything about FIFA.

The position became available just this week, with Infantino having sacked the committee heads Cornel Borbely and Hans-Joachim Eckert. Fantino insisted the sacking was due to the need for "geographic and gender diversity", while also denying the sacking was down to a fear of even more FIFA officials being caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Them two lads were only a stop gap, we've been looking for a guy like Joey for a while now, we think he's perfect." said Infantino, while trying not to laugh."

Speaking outside the local job center Barton announced his delight with the new role, having recently been banned from playing football for 18 months after being found guilty of gambling offenses, the latest in his rap sheet which now has more pages than the bible. Some questioned whether he ever did play football but the 18 ban will not permit him to officially play.

"This time I'm serious, I'm done messing about and taking the mick. I know Sepp Blatter well and although he's no longer with Fifa he can give me some good advice. I just need a 22nd chance, that's all."

When asked his reason for being at the job center Barton insisted it was just "de-registering" before hurrying off and covering his face from cameras.

"Eh, yeah, I was just, eh letting them know I found a job. No comment"

Barton's first role in his new position is to lead the investigation team heading up the inquiry into Paul Pogba's transfer from Juventus to Manchester United, with Old Trafford officials insisting they were robbed and demanding their money back.

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