In a worrying development many British dogs are set to refuse walks, refuse to sit down and have even threatened to poo more frequently or piss in the hallway at every given opportunity, as a result of an increase of getting the blame for human farts.

While passing the blame onto dogs for human farts is nothing new, the common view that it is a victimless offense which is all to easy to commit has resulted in the steadfast increase.

Speaking on behalf of the British Dogs Union, chairman Shep barked that the situation has gone on for way too long, and not only must dogs endure the smell themselves, but they are laughed at, pointed at and sometimes even shooed out of the room to put be out outside, while the smug flatuating culprit is secretly sniggering away to himself, delighted with his antics.

Shep also insisted his members have a list of demands they wish to be met if they are to start behaving again, including the following:

• No more vegetables in the leftovers
• More time to sniff other dogs arses when on walks
• No more Aldi or Lidl dogfood
• At least 1 walk daily during weekdays and 2 at weekends

With dogs and dog owners looking for a speedy resolution both partys are set for more talks next week.

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