Never letting the truth get in
the way of a good story...

sattire news uk  sattire news uk  sattire news uk

Third Scotland Umbrella Victim

Another victim of umbrella ignorance hits Scotland - third such incident this year

There were dramatic scenes in windy Aberdeen last Saturday as it emerged a young mans eyesight became victim to an umbrella wielding sheila in the third such accident this year in Scotland.

The incident occurred shortly after midday as the young man, said to be in his early 20's was on his way to work. The woman involved was holding an umbrella despite there being almost no rain. The designer umbrella was being held at eye level height and onlookers stated the woman seemed oblivious to the fact that there were oncoming pedestrians who were in harms way. The woman involved was apprehended by a passerby after trying to flee the scene in a casual almost catwalk style manner - huffing at the victim as he lay on the ground. Emergency services arrived on the scene and took the injured man away for treatment.

It is believed the accident could have been avoided if the woman had of slightly adjusted the umbrella in any direction rather than perform a reenactment of the Verve's Bittersweet Symphony video. Other witnesses have since commented that the victim is known to have a Tinder addiction and could have in fact been busy swiping right and not watching where he was going.

The victim - who's name has not been released is stil recovering in hospital the woman involved was taken to the police station for questioning. Her designer umbrella was confiscated after her refusual to voluntarily hand it over. She escaped arrest even after refusing to giver her name despite repeatedly asking officers herself "Do you know who I am" and threatening them with legal action.

"Death by Brolly - it's only a matter of time"

By all accounts it is an accident that could - and should have been avoided. Like the other such incidents this accident happened because of the ignorant use of an umbrella in a part of the UK that gets the most rainfall per annum. Benny Wilson - who witnessed the incident reported the following

"This is nothing new in Aberdeen and I'm sick of it, ducking and dodging umbrellas along the high street almost daily, it's like a minefield out there. It's only a matter of time before there will be a case of death by brolly"

Local Counciller Troy McClean was contacted about the issue and noted the following:

"While we don't propose an all out ban on umbrella's when it's not raining we expect brolly holders to be more aware of oncoming pedestrians and to the fact that their umbrella can sometimes be at eye level height.

uk sattire news

Join our Newsletter...

Get your weekly dose of scandal delivered to your inbox.

Spread the Scandal...

uk satire newsIf you like our articles be sure to share them to your social media profiles. Click on any of the icons below the article to share


We have various advertising opportunities at Scandal HQ. Showcase your business to thousands of humor hungry visitors across the uk and beyond!!


© 2024 Scandal HQ Satire UK

Scandal HQ Satire